Getting Kids to Study, and Not do Homework

Most parents will agree that they are tired of nagging their children to do their homework, day after day, pushing, threatening, bribing, and still kids refuse to listen. We see this quite often in my charity work for ChildrenoftheCity. There is hope. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind, and ten excellent tips that can improve study time hassles between kids and parents.

Most children do not like or want to do their homework. Getting a kid to sit and study is very difficult because they simply do not enjoy it. So don’t try to get them to like it, rather focus on getting them to do it. In fact, you cannot make anyone do anything, let alone make a child learn. So stop insisting and instead, you can assist. Concentrate on assisting children by sending positive thoughts and invitations. You need to help a kid’s brain to engage.

My website RoccoBasile.org has many great tips on trends in education, but one of the best programs I have seen is the Children of the City Create Success program -- an after school and summer program that really works and in fact is fast becoming a model sought after by other agencies for their own after school program sites. Here, a high priority is placed on student’s academic success with intense tutoring and daily help with school work.

But for those who don't live in Brooklyn New York where this program is currently being offered, here are some ideas. Most often parents see homework as the parent's problem, so they create ultimatums, scream and shout, threaten, bribe, ground and take away privileges. But most of these strategies simply don’t work. It’s a parent’s job to provide our children with an opportunity to do homework. Our job is to provide structure, to create the system for the child to learn to use.

Here are some tips:
1) Don’t use the word “homework.” Replace it with the word “study.” Make it study time instead of a homework time. Have a study table. This will keep a child from ever saying "I don't have any homework." Study time is about studying, even if there are no homework assignments. It gets kids into the habit of studying to learn.
2) Establish a study routine. Routines are the same time every day, so let your children provide their input for when study time should occur. Once the time is set, stick to it. Kids often protest but thrive on structure. Routines become habits. This is how you will demonstrate that you value education.
3) KISS – Keep it simple stupid. Routines are predictable and simple. For example, you could give kids a five minute warning that study time is near. So if they are playing, it needs to stop. They need to go to their study table, get out their books and supplies, and start studying.
4) Allow you’re children to make choices about schoolwork. They could choose to study before or after dinner, or they could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning and do it. Invite them to choose the spot, a table in the den or kitchen or in their room.
5) Help without over-helping. Just help if your child asks for help, otherwise do not do their work for them, such as math problems or writing assignments.
6) If your child uses the term, "I can't do it, " you must tell them that they should act as if they can. Tell them to pretend like they know and see what happens. Then leave. If they keep saying they can’t and you decide to offer help, concentrate on asking them questions, rather than telling them. For example, "What do you understand?" "Can you give me an example?""What do you think the answer is?"
7) Behavior makes behaviors – you must teach it to get it. So if disorganization is a problem you must invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Teach them the system, and then it’s their job to use it. Check to make sure they continue using the system and offer direction if necessary.
8) Some kids need help with time management, so teach them the skills by helping them to learn what it means to prioritize tasks. Teach them to create an agenda each time they sit down to study – and then help them learn to prioritize their agenda.
9) Do not reward with money or external rewards. Reward with encouraging verbal responses. Never pay for grades or suggest going to get ice cream as a reward. This bribery does not encourage children to develop a lifetime love for learning or education.
10) Make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.

-- Rocco Basile
Source: News for Parents.org